Let’s be honest—parenting is not easy. Between the tantrums, homework battles, and bedtime negotiations, it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes. But in those tough moments, the words we use with our children can stick with them longer than we think—sometimes even for life.

The truth is, some things we say (even with the best intentions!) can unintentionally damage our child’s self-esteem or emotional growth. And it's not just the obvious angry outbursts—even certain types of praise or comments meant as "tough love" can leave scars.

So, let’s talk about a few common phrases that parents should avoid, and why they might do more harm than good.

1. “What’s wrong with you?”

This one might slip out in a moment of frustration. But to a child, it sounds like there’s something deeply wrong with who they are.
💬 What to say instead: “Can you help me understand what happened?”
👉 This invites conversation instead of shame.

2. “You’re being too sensitive.”

Feelings aren’t right or wrong—they just are. Telling a child they’re "too sensitive" teaches them to bottle up emotions and doubt their feelings.
💬 Try this instead: “It’s okay to feel upset. Want to talk about it?”

3. “Leave me alone.”

We all need a break sometimes—but repeated use of this phrase can teach a child that you're not emotionally available.
💬 A gentler approach: “I need a few minutes to calm down, and then I’d love to talk.”

4. “Don’t eat that or you’ll get fat.”

Yikes. This might seem like you're just looking out for your child’s health, but it can actually trigger body image issues and even eating disorders.
💬 Focus on the positive: “Let’s choose something that gives us energy and helps us feel great!”

5. “Stop being such a baby.”

Kids regress sometimes—especially when they’re stressed or scared. Mocking them for it can make things worse.
💬 Try this instead: “I see you're feeling upset. Let’s figure this out together.”

6. “You make me so mad.”

Yes, kids can push all our buttons. But blaming your emotional state on them teaches them that they control your feelings.
💬 More mindful phrasing: “I feel upset when this happens, and I’d like us to find a solution.”

7. “You’re making me sad.”

Similar to the one above—this places emotional responsibility on the child, which is a heavy burden to carry.
💬 Better way to say it: “When you do that, it hurts my feelings. Let’s talk about how we can do better.”

8. “I’m disappointed in you.”

Ouch. That one stings—and stays. Disappointment is a tough emotion for kids to process, especially when it’s tied to their sense of worth.
💬 Reframe it: “That choice wasn’t the best, but I know you can do better next time.”

We all have moments when we say things we don’t mean. That’s part of being human. What’s important is recognizing those moments and growing from them. Your words shape how your child sees themselves and the world around them—so let's speak with love, even when it's hard.

After all, a little patience and empathy go a long, long way. 💙